This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize