maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
