I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
