i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize