whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
