margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
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