ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
