respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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