I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
