is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
