reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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