its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
