Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
