Screwed.edu
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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