Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
