Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
