My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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