No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
