How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize