Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
