remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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