Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
