If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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