It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
