your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
