I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
