i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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