I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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