You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
