She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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