It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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