This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
