after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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