Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
