I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
