Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
