um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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