I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
