I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
