yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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