he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
