I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
