I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
