dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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