How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
