Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
