The maid of honor just puked.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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