No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize