I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
