How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize