brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
