I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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