it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
