I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
