Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
