dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
