Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
what is it with giant penises always finding me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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