I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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