she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
